


The thoughts of a ghost

by DefTheMasked



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Ghostbur regrets, Ghostbur sad, Sadness, like full on angst, what do I even tag this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:02:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28464270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefTheMasked/pseuds/DefTheMasked
Summary: The thoughts of a ghost surrounded by the effects of a shadow.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	The thoughts of a ghost

**Author's Note:**

> So, hello. Did I write a one-shot in, checks the time, 45 minutes? Yes. I did it as a new year present. Because my other update for Tony's adventures is taking longer, and I'm sorry.

Was it worth it?

Wilbur- _no_. Ghostbur didn’t know.

He didn’t have a reflection, couldn’t stare back at himself, couldn’t look at the shadow of a person who _wasn’t there_. Couldn’t demand answers from a person long gone. Couldn’t understand the person that died. 

Couldn’t ask without risking upsetting people. 

It was ironic. He was a ghost haunting the living. Yet, he wasn’t the ghost they wanted. Couldn’t give answers, couldn’t offer closure. Just jokes, a smile, and empty apologies that aren’t wanted or desired. 

Like they hate him but don’t because it’s not him they hate. 

After all he-

_“I’m not Wilbur, I’m Ghostbur.”_

He wasn’t _him_. 

He wasn’t the person they wanted him to be. He could only remember the good things. And he didn’t even understand how the person that lived them was happy with them.

How he could be happy when he… _When he-_

_"There was a saying Phil.. by a traitor. Once part of L'Manberg... It was never meant to be."_

_  
_ Wilbur was gone and Ghostbur had to pick up the pieces and string them together. To offer something when people kept asking him things. Like he would remember. Like he should remember. Like he would understand what the other person thought. He doesn’t remember everything. How would _he_ know what Wilbur thought?

_"Don't get me wrong, I'm super dead."_

What did they see when they looked at him? Was he like a reflection of him? A poorly made reflection. Shattered and glued back together showing only bits and pieces from certain angles. Wrapping the image into something else. Did some parts of his past self shine through? Did he make them sick? Like how he feels when he remembers, _remembers-_

_"Tommy, pspspsps, where are you? It's time to blow up everything!"_

How did they miss a person that hurt them? Wasn’t it better that Wilbur was gone? After all the hurt he caused, the pain and despair. Wasn’t it better now? Wasn’t it better now that _he_ was gone?

Yet, _he_ could’ve done more than Ghostbur. He could’ve stopped the falling apart of his family, the hurt and pain. He could’ve been useful and not an oblivious fool. Could’ve done something, _anything_ , to make it better. 

When Tommy needed him and he fell short. When he stubbornly clung to the positive instead of acknowledging the bad. When Dream told him to _walk in the snow_ . Something that could _kill him_ . And he did. Because what else was there to do when he wasn’t needed? When he couldn’t even think why he shouldn’t? Because he doesn’t remember the actions that hurt, seeing as he can only remember what made _him_ happy?

How was he so stupid? How could he keep fooling himself? Pretend that everything is fine and deny that it isn’t? Like everything is fucking _perfect_. 

_"Fundy needs a dad. For sure. And I need to make up for what I did. I gotta make up for what I did."_

His son. God, his son. He failed him. He failed everyone. Everything he touches falling apart. Every string that connects someone with him snapping and straining. 

How can he make up when he’s not what he should be? 

_"Me and you, we both agree we're right. We're in the right here, aren't we?”_

After all the people he hurt.

_“Then let's be the bad guys. Tommy, why not? Why not? Look, our nation's gone. Our nation's far behind us, Tommy.”_

After lashing out.

_“Let's blow that motherfucker to smithereens. Let's blow the whole thing up!”_

After falling apart. 

_“I say if we can't have Manberg, then NO ONE, NO ONE CAN HAVE MANBERG!"_

After being so selfish?

How can he do better? 

He’s falling apart and ignoring it. Desperately writing down everything, trying to not forget and to remember. Reading everything he can get his hands on so he can _understand_. 

Understand why.

Why?

Why did Wilbur fall apart? What happened? What was he thinking? 

_Why was he happy when he died?_

_Why couldn’t he have stayed gone?_

Why did he _care_?

_"There WAS a special place... where men COULD go to emancipate..."_

His nation was falling apart. Laws were bending and bending for those in power. 

Was this what Wilbur saw? How those in power got high on it. 

Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. 

_"Independence, or death. If we get no revolution, then we want nothing. We would rather die than give in to you and join your SMP."_

How do ideologies change when someone dies? Was Wilbur in the wrong? Was it his fault? Was he the catalyst to the end?

_"How bad was I, Phil? How awful of a person was I?"_

Ghostbur… Ghostbur is afraid. 

What if he’s… What if he’s just the same? What if he’s worse?

He’s trying to only behave the way Wilbur was before he fell. Before the descent into madness. 

But was he any better than the person that died? 

_"TommyInnit, I am a slow-burning fuse. I am a long, slow-burning fuse, but I'm telling you now, over the next couple weeks, I'm gonna be a different man than the one Jschlatt crossed. I can feel it. And maybe this new man will be open to a Technoblade."_

Can you hate someone you never met?

Can you despise their actions? Can you feel your blood boiling when you’re faced with the consequences of their actions?

He lost everything that was good. It was all tainted by the mistakes of Wilbur. 

Is it madness to be mad at someone that doesn’t exist anymore? 

He was a ghost.

  
Can’t change anything, can’t do anything, can’t _remember_ anything.

Useless.

  
Discarded for being oblivious, discarded for not knowing, discarded for not being the one they want.

Did they...

Did they even need him? 

_Do they need Ghostbur?_

_"Calm yourself, have some blue."_

They did. 

There are some things they don’t know about and he can’t say. 

Somethings he has to do. 

Who is he if he can’t even do that much?

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPPYYYY NEWWW YEAAARRRRRRR
> 
> Did you cry? I'm sorry. But you know that I can't stop writing angst. It's just how I am. 
> 
> Anyway, let's never do 2020 again.


End file.
